If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.