You really coming over, don't trick.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake