Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to give you the keys to my place

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

  (561): View more from Florida

  Gag me

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  (561): I am going to give you the keys to my place (1-561): Then I'll give you the keys to my heart (561): Gag me http://tfl.nu/oa16
  Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (749)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (495) Bad night (5261) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.

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  (719): Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now. http://tfl.nu/m6w8
  Replies (25) Good night (4501) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.

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  (509): The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's. http://tfl.nu/3lzb
  Replies (16) Good night (680) Bad night (4588) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys

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  (970): He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys http://tfl.nu/pzx8
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (2258) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he made a bald eagle out of coke lines

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  (818): he made a bald eagle out of coke lines http://tfl.nu/gy34
  Replies (5) Good night (2198) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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  (780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2217) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

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  (306): No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke. http://tfl.nu/zs7w
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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  (651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. http://tfl.nu/2lgm
  Replies (15) Good night (2374) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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  (843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17
  Replies (11) Good night (399) Bad night (1707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.

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  (612): I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head. http://tfl.nu/qs4d
  Replies (26) Good night (600) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts

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  (914): I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts http://tfl.nu/lyzo
  Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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  (336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra
  Replies (3) Good night (145) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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  (303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2
  Replies (4) Good night (564) Bad night (138) Order T-Shirt

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