After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.