Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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