Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
