I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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