Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
