i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
