i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
