My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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