I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
