playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
