Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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