I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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