you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
