so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So many bounce houses so little time
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
