Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize