It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
