Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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