Where did you get a picture of my penis
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
