she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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