Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
