I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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