I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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