the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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