I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
