I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
