I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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