no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
