How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize