I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
