its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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