Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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