I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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