Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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