just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
