So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
