ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
