My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize