mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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