He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
