I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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