I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
