Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
