Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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