Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
