Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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