So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
