nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
