I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
two words: eviction party
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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