everyone is single if you try hard enough
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
