Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
