if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
