need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
