Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
