At least make sure they are 18
Why
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
