Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
