He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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