The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
