Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize