I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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