Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
