so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
