you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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