I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize