I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
my poor anus
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
