Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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