Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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