My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
