So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think my moral compass just broke
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
