I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize