I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize